photo from markjsebastian
Soon-to-be brides often anticipate their wedding day to be nothing short of a fairytale. Visions of flowing gowns, the perfect setting, and all their family and friends congregating together on their big day can, at times, cloud their perception of possible trouble ahead.
Bridal magazines don�t help in this, either. Many magazines focus their attention on ideas for themes or dishes to serve at the wedding and don�t offer the brides any warning about common wedding mishaps. Then, when a bride discovers an already looming mishap and becomes understandably upset, she runs the risk of being titled a �Bridezilla.�
But there is help for brides in the form of advice from those that have been there. They, too, had perfect storybook days planned until oversights got in the way. In this article, I will list some of the things wedding magazines don�t warn brides about.
� Be Careful What You Throw. Throwing rice at the bride as she leaves her church wedding ceremony has been a custom for decades, but it has begun to fade out- and for very good reason (just not the one people think). Urban Legend states that the reason for not throwing rice is because birds can eat the rice, which well swell in their bellies and cause a feathery explosion. This isn�t true. From a biological standpoint, it�s pretty obvious that it wouldn�t be as birds have enzymes, just as people do, to break down their food. The real reason for not throwing rice is the mess.
Many churches and reception halls have banned the throwing of rice and confetti because it is nearly impossible to clean up the mess afterwards, which actually attracts birds to the lawn who leave their own messes behind. For this reason, it�s a good idea to make sure you are clear with the renter of the venue as to the rules and regulations of post-ceremony throwing and have your ushers remind guests of any bans on outdoor confetti.
photo from gwynethcolleen
� He Probably Won�t Be As Into It As You Are. Since the bride was a little girl, she�s been practicing her wedding march in her mom�s shoes and wrapping dishtowels around her head as a veil to prepare for her big day. It�s clear that the wedding is important to women. Now think- how many little boys have you seen recite their future vows? Chances are very few. So don�t be offended if your future husband isn�t as into planning the wedding as you are. When asked, most guys will simply state that they know the wedding is important to the bride, so they don�t interfere with her planning.
If you do wish for him to join in the planning, give him a specific job or decision to make, so he knows he isn�t overstepping and ruining YOUR plans. Guys aren�t typically great at matching colors for the wedding party or deciding what floral arrangement looks best, anyway, and would rather their future wife take over these parts of the planning. Just remember that his apathy towards the wedding preparations is not necessarily a of his love for you, and you�ll be fine.
� Forget the Seating Plan. A lot of brides spend days, weeks, or even months trying to perfect the seating plan, only to wind up overstressed and frustrated at the situation. When you try to arrange seating for every individual person in attendance, you leave out any room for people that aren�t on the RSVP list (and there will be some- we�ll get to that later) and over-accommodate for no shows. Also, you run the risk of having some guests feel insulted if they wind up in the back rows at the ceremony while others are seated closer to the front. Instead, reserve seating for just the immediate family of the bride and groom, then let everyone else be seated in the order in which they arrive.
photo from rootshell
� Have a Plan B. While most vendors won�t have to back out at the last minute, remember- they�re people, too. And all people run the same risk of family emergencies, illness, or even just flaking out on their responsibilities. For this reason, it�s good to organize a �just in case� team of five or so people you can trust to handle any last minute changes for you. If the cake should tumble or the caterer not show, these are the ones that will be responsible for cleaning up the aftermath, so make sure they know what you like.
� Not All People Are Open to Potlucks. Potluck receptions, at one time, were customary but eventually went out of style. They have become more and more common in previous years, however, due to the fact that they offer a cost-effective way to feed a large group. Some people still find it tacky to receive a wedding invitation asking for a covered dish, though, and this should be considered when planning. Some brides who bypass the potluck and caterer both have opted for choosing just a handful of willing friends and family to prepare the meal together- each preparing a different dish in mass quantity. Others opt for a coffee and punch reception rather than a full meal. Either of these options are less risky than having someone feel taken advantage of by being asked to bring a dish to someone else�s wedding.
� Plan for the Uninvited. There will always be guests that bring dates you hadn�t intended and other guests that maybe didn�t receive a formal invite either on purpose or accident that will show because they hear by word of mouth. A good rule of thumb when planning is to plan for 105% of your RSVPs. This way, odds are everyone will be covered, whether they are on the list or not. If you wind up having a lot of leftover, any local soup kitchen or cafeteria will be glad to have the donation (which is tax deductible).
photo from castlephotos
� There WILL be Family Politics in Play. No matter how many feuding family members promise to behave, someone will always get out of hand or jealous of the attention given to others. Knowing that this is normal and no fault of your own is the easiest way to brush it off, which is exactly what you should do. You can�t accommodate every person perfectly and they should not be expected to be accommodated on your day. If they show up and complain, ignore them and know that they are only making a fool of themselves. If they cause too big an uproar, don�t be afraid to have your ushers ask them to leave. That�s what you pick ushers for to begin with.
� Sometimes the Bridal Party Has Their Own Problems. So the maid of honor is fighting with her boyfriend and in a bad mood or the best man is hung-over from last night�s celebration.. Don�t worry. You can get through this, too. To avoid the problem in the first place, have a long talk with the full wedding party together at the same time and voice any concerns you have. If you know of one particular wedding party member that likes to drink, for example, be sure to warn the whole group (without naming a name) that you would appreciate everyone sober on your big day. If a wedding party member shows up at the wedding not feeling well, a good idea is to have them rest. The usual job of the wedding party is to take care of the needs of the bride and groom during the wedding morning preparation, but let the others take over for anybody that is sick. Have them relax, drink some fluids, and recharge for when they will be needed later on.
photo from vazzini
� Children Won�t Behave. Don�t plan for everyone�s kids to be on perfect behavior at the wedding. Instead, it might be a good idea to recruit a few teenage cousins or friends not within the wedding party to serve as a babysitting service for during the ceremony. Set aside a certain area- the church basement or a particular area of the park- for the babysitters to take the kids during the ceremony to offer as few distractions as possible. And don�t forget that your flower girl and ring-bearer are just kids, too.
Rarely do young people in the wedding party sit still during the ceremony, so don�t be upset if they feel the need to move around or even do a little bit of showing off while they are center of attention. If your ceremony is going to be a long service, have a couple small chairs waiting for them to sit in should their little legs get tired. Some brides also choose to bypass having children at the wedding altogether by including a line such as, �No Children Please,� on the invitation. This is certainly a bride�s personal preference, but please note that many parents might find the sentiment insulting.
� Read Your Contracts and Know Your Vendors. A lot of brides hire based on good references without getting to know their vendors personally before the ceremony. Too many photographers are hired based on rates without ever a glance at a portfolio. All too often, deposits are paid without reading the fine print in the contract. Don�t do this. Know who you�re hiring and the terms on which you are hiring them. This will save you a lot of heartache later on.
� Watch Your Party Favors. Some favorites among party favors are bubbles and party poppers. Both pose risks, though, that many don�t consider. Bubbles are fun and a good way to entertain children that are in attendance at the ceremony, but should never be given at indoor weddings due to the fact that some furniture can�t hold up to the soapy residue that the bubbles leave behind.
Also, bubbles can make hardwood or tile floors slippery which could lead to serious accidents, considering all the people in uncomfortable and unfamiliar dress shoes. Party poppers spew confetti, glitter, and, in some brands, gunpowder. For this reason, they pose risk of injury, themselves, but also should be used outdoors under no circumstances because of the litter they leave behind, which might be prohibited by your wedding venue as already discussed.
photo from asv
� It Will Not Be Perfect. Rarely is there a wedding that goes as planned, but remember that when it�s all said and done, the result is still what you had hoped for. Marriage isn�t about photo-ops, cake, or dresses. It�s about spending your life with that one person you love.
Using these tips, brides can look ahead and prevent possible frustrations on their wedding day, so instead of a fretting about oversights, they can spend their day in the arms of the rest of their life.
